


Fly With Me

by an_upset_librarian



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Nesta has some Realizations, she also loves flying with cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-16 02:46:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16076738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/an_upset_librarian/pseuds/an_upset_librarian
Summary: Nesta secretly loves it when Cassian takes her flying. She loves being held against him, loves the repetitive sound of his great wings in the air, loves the freedom flying brings and the peace she feels in the skies. She acts like she doesn’t care when Cassian says they have to fly to another camp or village in the north, but secretly, deep in her heart, she yearns for it. She longs for the tranquility and the warmth she feels when they fly.What she doesn’t know is that Cassian is very aware of how much she loves flying with him, and though he acts like he hasn’t caught on yet, he comes up with more excuses to carry her with him in the skies. He loves how she clings to his neck, her fingers sometimes stroking at the exposed skin and tangling in his hair when she’s tired and distracted. He loves how he feels her entire body relax when they rise above the trees and float high in the sky. He loves the little sparkle in her eye when they soar above the clouds and it’s just them and the heavens, nothing else.So, when he comes home one night, battered and beaten, his wings in near tatters again, Nesta nearly breaks down completely.





	Fly With Me

Nesta secretly loves it when Cassian takes her flying. She loves being held against him, loves the repetitive sound of his great wings in the air, loves the freedom flying brings and the peace she feels in the skies. She acts like she doesn’t care when Cassian says they have to fly to another camp or village in the north, but secretly, deep in her heart, she yearns for it. She longs for the tranquility and the warmth she feels when they fly. 

What she doesn’t know is that Cassian is _very_ aware of how much she loves flying with him, and though he acts like he hasn’t caught on yet, he comes up with more excuses to carry her with him in the skies. He loves how she clings to his neck, her fingers sometimes stroking at the exposed skin and tangling in his hair when she’s tired and distracted. He loves how he feels her entire body relax when they rise above the trees and float high in the sky. He loves the little sparkle in her eye when they soar above the clouds and it’s just them and the heavens, nothing else.  

So, when he comes home one night, battered and beaten, his wings in near tatters again, Nesta nearly breaks down completely. 

He was only supposed to be talking with his contacts in the heart of the Illyrian unrest, but Azriel said they’d been betrayed. Nesta listened as he told Rhysand what happened, told him of the betrayal and the legions that surrounded them to attack, and how Cassian defended him until they managed to escape.

She didn’t stay much longer after that, not caring what Azriel would spew about how the Illyrians were causing more trouble than they were worth, and she knew the spymaster could tell she was eavesdropping anyway and wouldn’t say much more while she was around. Instead she made her way to Cassian’s room, nearly bumping into the healer as she left.

The healer looked exhausted as she passed, walking down to the foyer to talk with Mor and Feyre, who were still whispering to each other about what had happened.

Nesta stands in front of his closed door for much longer than she’d like to admit, too scared to open it and too scared to walk away. She and Cassian had a _something._ It was unspoken, but still there between them. She felt the string tying her heart to his tug at her sometimes, like how it was pulling her now, telling her to go in his damned room and face him.

Taking a deep breath, she enters, not bothering to knock. He probably knew she’d been standing outside anyway. He was sitting in front of his open balcony doors, staring at the clear night sky, his wings bandaged tight against his bare back. Nesta’s breath caught in her chest at the sight.

She remembered, when she was first brought to Hybern and thrown into the Cauldron, how his wings had been shredded, and how on that battlefield, against that bastard king his wings defended her once more. She remembered how hard it was for him to stay out of the skies and let his body heal, remembered how when he was stretching his injured muscles again he came to see her in the House of Wind every day, even if she didn’t want to see him.

She knew how much he hated not being able to fly. She knew how it made him feel worthless to be stuck on the ground while his soul yearned for the skies. She knew how hard this betrayal would be for him to bear. Nesta had lived with Cassian in the war camps, seen the adoration in his eyes during the months they stayed there, saw his vision for the future of his kind, as distant as it was.

He was silent even as she walked over to him. Nesta reached out a shaking hand and gently placed it on his shoulder, his skin hot beneath her cold fingers. She didn’t say anything, knowing there was nothing she could say just yet. Knowing there was nothing he wanted to hear.

He placed a hand on top of hers, his thumb tracing the skin of her hands and he sighed, his shoulders slumping. She took stock of his other injuries, noting the bruises scattered across his body and the thick bandage wrapped around his ribs.

From the moment he’d left the house earlier that day, Nesta had felt a twisting unease in her gut. When he’d returned, nearly falling out of the sky as he neared the House of Wind, Azriel the only thing keeping him upright, that unease had morphed into full fledged panic. Now, as she realized he was still alive, that panic began to subside.

She was still concerned, but she knew he would heal and regain his strength. He’d survived much worse, after all.

Nesta didn’t know how much time had passed, but Cassian didn’t seem to want her to leave and she didn’t want to leave him alone anyway, so she decided she would stay. For months, she’d been denying herself his companionship due to her damned _pride_ , and now, as they stared out into the night sky together, she realized how foolish she’d been. It wasn’t the right time, and she couldn’t muster up the courage to say _something_ about their unspoken bond, but she could be there for him. She could comfort him in this time of strife.

Nesta shifted, drawing Cassian’s attention away from the stars, and gently sat down on his thigh, her legs folding between his. At first, her back was ram-rod straight and her body was tense, but as Cassian just let his arm fall to her waist, his hand gently folding against her, she began to relax. She leaned into his chest, laying her head on his shoulder, her nose poking at the crook of his neck. Cassian let loose a relieved sigh, dropping his head to lay against hers.

One of her hands was curled around his neck, her fingers tangling in the long locks of his hair, and the other went to his waist, settling right below the bandaging on his chest. Those last dregs of worry and panic swirling inside of her finally evaporated.

His hot breath fanned over her head and she felt him shudder against her. She knew she wasn’t hurting him, having made sure to perch herself on his uninjured leg and maintain an unusual gentleness around his injuries. Still, she still worried. Nesta opened her mouth to speak, but the words died in her throat. She didn’t know what to _say_ , for once.

“I should have known,” Cassian whispered, his voice low and rough. Nesta pursed her lips.

“If Azriel didn’t know, there was no way you could have seen that coming,” Nesta said. He scoffed. “It was foolish of me to believe they would change, or that they would listen to a lowborn _bastard_ like me.”

Nesta lifted her head. She placed her hand on his jaw and forced him to meet her burning gaze. His dark eyes were full of vulnerability and sadness. Nesta wished she was more like Elain, able to say just the right thing at just the right moment, or strong like Feyre so she could be a pillar for him to lean against.

But she was none of those things. She was not like her sisters.

“You are the strongest male I have ever met, and they do _not_ deserve you,” she began, her voice shaking. “You are too good for those bastards, and they could never match up to your courage or your fortitude.”

Cassian stared at her, his lips parted in surprise. She felt a prickle of insecurity, not knowing if she’d said the right thing or just made things worse.

“Thank you,” he whispered, something near reverent in his hazel eyes as he gazed fondly at her. She felt her heart stutter. She could feel the string binding them together humming between them, the pulsing vibrations pulling at the emotions she tried so hard to hide and ignore, bringing them from the depths of her heart.

“I know how much you love Illyria, and what it could become. I know you want it to be your home, but until they catch up with your vision for them, I could,” she stuttered, her voice catching in her throat. His hands at her waist tightened, his fingers digging into her flesh. She saw the hope lighting in his eyes, a light she knew was mirrored in her own. She was tired, she realized. Tired of hiding and waiting and wondering. Maybe she couldn’t fully admit what was between them just yet, but she was tired of hiding it.

“I could be your home,” she finished, her voice barely audible in the quiet room. Cassian breathed in sharply. His eyes widened and his hands at her waist tugged her closer to him, until their faces were hairsbreadth apart.

Nesta thought she’d feel more nervous, but instead she felt only relief. She _wanted_ that future with Cassian. She was willing to go through the worry and the fear if she could have _him._

“I’d like that very much, but only if I can be your home too,” Cassian said, the deep timber of his voice sending a shiver down Nesta’s spine. She nodded, her gaze flicking down to his lips. Her heart skipped a beat as Cassian leaned closer, his forehead touching hers. She let her eyes drift closed and as she leaned into his touch. They say there, for most of the night, just holding each other in comfort.

Nesta knew he would heal, and when he did she would demand that he take her flying across Velaris to help strengthen his wings again. Maybe she would be done pretending she didn’t like flying too.

Maybe she would finally acknowledge the eternal bond between them, binding their souls together for all eternity.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally I just wanted to make a post about how Nesta secretly loves flying with Cassian but it turned into this...so I hope you enjoyed this slightly angsty Nessian story.


End file.
